Posted by
Tante Lin on Sunday, December 02, 2007 10:53:54 AM
I have to preface this by saying that I agree with Mr Medved's post of yesterday:
No persecution, no promotion
Posted by: Michael Medved at 7:53 PM
Except for one thing: who says that the "perfect family" is one man and one woman?
I have to say that certainly the sort of polygamy promulgated by Warren Jeffs is awful: the women had no choices and were clearly chattel, one step above slaves. That's not something anyone should promote.
However, that is not the only form polygamy takes.
This is America; the government has no business telling any of us what or who constitutes our family. If sisters fall in love with the same man, and all three want to marry, create a family and raise children together, why should the government be concerned? Wouldn't those children be safe and well-loved?
So many of us complain that it takes two incomes to raise children these days; if the marriage consisted of two wage-earners and a child-care provider, regardless of gender, they wouldn't need to put their kids in day care; they could be raised at home by a loving parent unstressed by financial woes. Sounds pretty good to me.
In some parts of the Himalayas, one woman frequently marries three or more brothers: the men cooperate in keeping her and the children safe and protected, and if one or two have to leave the home village for some time, perhaps to drive livestock to a distant market, or take a seasonal job out of town, there is at least one man left at home to defend and protect.
If they come to America as legal immigrants, do we insist that she divorce most of her husbands? Why?
Robert Heinlein described, in a sub-plot of his political novel THE MOON IS A HARSH MISTRESS, a form of polygamous marriage he called a line marriage: the example was a marriage, IIRC, of nine men to five women, of various ages, ranging from the elderly matriarch to the new bride, spanning five generations. All the adults cooperatively raised all the children, and there was, literally, almost no chance that any child could be orphaned; even if a child's biological parents died, their co-spouses were legally and morally (in context) obligated to keep the child in the family and continue to raise that child to adulthood. The adults helped each other with financial and business dealings and each contributed to the communal home what each could.
The result was a consistently happy home to which one could always return and that was practically guaranteed to survive beyond any one life, accumulating capital and experience in managing the marriage in positive ways, raising happy and well-adjusted children who would go out look for similarly-successful marriages they could join. Failing that, those children would create them.
Certainly the system has weaknesses (see Heinlein's novel JOB) but that's because humans aren't perfect and don't always make good decisions. That doesn't mean the model is useless or evil.
Humans are endlessly creative. I see no reason why the government should concern itself with who sleeps with who or in what context, though I strongly support laws against bigamy and adultery because they involve violations of contract as well as oathbreaking, most of the time.
Certainly faith communities and churches have the right and, indeed, an obligation to define what constitutes moral behavior for their members, but the US is a pluralistic society, with many such communities and churches, and they don't all agree. Because of the First Amendment, the government can't choose between the different churches' opinions and endorse just one.
I would never expect the churches to change their teachings, but they cannot impose those teachings on people who are not members of their congregations. The government's only legal option is to get out of the marriage business altogether and simply use domestic partnership contracts to define who is responsible for each child and who is next of kin to whom.
Marriage is a religious ritual, vitally important to members of the religious community, but that automatically excludes the government's participation and jurisdiction... or it should. If the First Amendment was truly being enforced.